Core Memory Unlocked

This post will mark the beginning of a blogpost series whenever I unlocked core memories from the past, especially memories with Papa. I might or might not include picture(s). 

• Silver Espas and going to English course

We used to own a silver Espas with a sliding door - I liked it a lot, it made me feel fancy. I remember sporting my pigtails and jeans, posing in front of the car as I'm getting ready to go to my after class English course. Of course Papa drove me to the class.

I remember the AC was especially cold~`

• Bike Ride to English course

Papa used to took me on a bike going to my English course, it was kinda uncomfortable because the seat is just metal like there's barely any cushion at all. It was a short ride so I didn't complain all that much. I remember a particular image of Papa wearing his purplish t-shirt, short and a cap, already waiting for me by the time the class was over. Now I just realized though I started my English class very very young...

• Sunday morning at Senayan

I couldn't recall properly which part of Senayan but I remember back then Papa took us very early in the morning to Senayan to play some basketball? And just running around I think. I remember how the asphalt felt in the morning as we sat down. Papa also would take us to eat bubur ayam sold in a car (?) something like that. It was delicious.

• Waiting for Mama at masjid nearby

There's a masjid nearby Mama's PMI branch where we would go when waiting for her. It was kinda open, I remember the wind flowing through the masjid. The floor was clean and cold, and it was usually very quiet. There were a lot of trees at front, so it was very breezy. I think Papa usually would take a nap. I didn't know what I did while we wait because smartphone wasn't a thing yet that time

Papa

As a child, when I accidentally woke up in the middle of the night, I often watched my mom and dad sleeping, checking whether they're still breathing. It's assuring to little me to know that my parents were just sleeping, they're still alive... just sleeping.

There is not enough space in the world to share you the story of my upbringing and about my parents. But in this post I would just like to write down the story of my father, Papa, while I still remember it. I usually pride myself for having a good memory, but I don't want to jeopardize losing memories of Papa... and that is the sole reason of writing this entry.

People said that a girl's first love is their father, and while I might argue that doesn't apply to anyone, I agree that having the presence of a father in your life while growing up is critical. Role of a father might differ between son and daughter, but as my fathers' only daughter, and as a woman, I know that father is associated with strength, stability, and protection, and that is what Papa has given me growing up. We are not a wealthy family but we are comfortable - but it has not always been the case - but I am eternally grateful for this. I've experienced taking public transport for years during my school days - but I experienced having my Dad drove & picked me up after school too, at one point I've experienced driving my parents car to campus. I've experienced having to save money to buy secondhand Lupus book in Pasar Senen, but I've also experienced having the latest Samsung Galaxy phone. 

Now that I make money on my own, my goal is more about how to make life enjoyable for both my parents - I only want them to be comfortable, to eat yummy food, to not worried about anything, to visit beautiful places, and many more. As my work require a lot of hours, I don't get to meet them often, but I try to make sure to keep in touch with them. Now that it has been more than a year since working from home, I simultaneously had more & less time with them. I spent all day at home working, coming down to have my meals (which my mom/dad religiously texted me on Whatsapp informing menu of the day), chat a bit, then going up again to my room. In normal days, I meet them in the morning and at night (sometimes), but I can also plan getaways and vacation to have real quality time. Now that Papa is gone, it almost feels like every opportunity to do that has been taken away from me. I have planned to take Mama Papa on a vacation to Turkey, I've browsed around and saved my money, but because of pandemic I don't dare to take them out yet. It's such a pity indeed that this goal of mine will never be realized...

My relationship with Papa felt like a typical Asian father - daughter relationship, words of affirmation were never our love language, it's always quiet but I'm sure we both know that we care and love each other. My father was always there for me driving me just anywhere - at my big age, back in the days when life is normal, my father drove me to work everyday. Sometimes with mom and my nephew. He didn't have to do that of course, after all in the beginning, I took public transport too (like in my previous post). But gradually somehow he found reason to drive me to work everyday saying he had business to do too (not sure whether it's real or not, btw) but anyway. 

Papa indeed had experienced some illnesses in the past year and going to hospital is not new anymore, every time he admitted to hospital I always had this thought is this the time... but he came back every time. My mom is always by his side all the time, and I know deep in my heart we both had the same worry. I never liked seeing people in pain - that's why I don't watch medical drama, nor gore or thriller - so I had always held back on showing my worry. I prefer to convince myself that Papa will be back to health again and life will be normal again. Sadly, not this time.

Papa passed away on a Friday, surrounded by all of us. Buried the next day, the weather was nice, not too hot. Everything went so smooth, seems like the universe all in our side that day.

No more Papa who always texted me either menu of the day or the job opportunity at Pertamina (I have to admit though they have excellent medical benefit)

No more Papa who always know my food order (not spicy, omelette rather than overeasy egg)

No more Papa who always offer to drive or pick me up whenever I have to go for outstation

No more Papa who likes to sit in the living room watching some of his favorite series

No more Papa who loves chocolate whom I always try to buy him some whenever I do online grocery shopping

No more Papa who taught me how to drive and essentially get it in my head that driving is not just driving but once you're behind the steering wheel, you are responsible for your life, people in the car's life, and anybody else out there.

No more Papa who loves to experiment with cooking, sometimes it doesn't work but I eat it anyway

No more Papa who always filled my lunch box with too many food (I kid you not, Papa would put eggs, chicken and beef in my lunch box............ as if one protein is not enough)

No more Papa who always filled the dining table with too much food I often confused where to start...

No more Papa who sometimes even deliver the food to my room when I'm too busy with work but the food cannot wait

No more Papa whom I could buy him food, I always make sure he got the best & biggest ones 

No more Papa to travel with me and Mama...

No more Papa who somehow still remember little details about my friends from elementary, middle school, high school...

No more Papa who loves to wander around on his own whenever we go shopping (and me & Mama often freaked out because of this)

No more Papa...

And I am officially fatherless, and I don't know how to get over this broken heart.

Aku dan Transportasi Umum; A Complicated Relationship

iya, walau single, tapi gue juga punya hubungan yang kompliketit (baca : complicated)

yaitu antara gue dan transportasi umum.

hukum rimba

Sebagai native Bekasians, gue sudah terbiasa menempuk jarak jauh tiap harinya. Ya gimana enggak, rumah selalu di Bekasi, tapi SD gue di Menteng, SMP - SMA di Salemba (dan US #pamer), plus kuliah di Depok. Jadi dari kelas 1 SD pun gue udah biasa untuk bangun dan berangkat pagi buta, yang kebawa sampe sekarang. Gue sendiri mengklasifikasikan diri gue sebagai nurtured morning person, alias morning person karena keadaan. I meaaaan....bukankah kasur terasa paling nikmat di pagi hari sebelum harus bangun? Dan betapa nikmatnya ketika lo bisa leha-leha lebih lama karena jarak rumah dan sekolah lo gak lebih dari 20 kilometer.

Berhubung bokap dan nyokap gue dua-duanya bekerja, dari SD gue sudah mulai dibiasakan buat pulang sendiri walaupun jarak Jakarta - Bekasi lumayan banget. Tapii ya pelan-pelan. Gue biasanya mampir dulu ke rumah uwak gue di Menteng yang bisa jalan kaki dari sekolah bareng kakak gue, kemudian sorenya baru dijemput dan kami pun kembali ke rumah. Pas udah agak gedean kelas 5-6, kita coba rute lain yaitu naik angkot 58 dari UKI sampe deket rumah dilanjut ojek. Ke UKI nya tentunya sama bokap. Sempet sih beberapa kali bokap ngajarin naik metromini dan bus ke UKI nya, tapi entah seinget gue ngga pernah terealisasikan karena gue selalu ngeri jatoh kalo naik metromini gitu, ya namanya anak esde. 

Pas udah SMP, kebetulan rutenya enak sekali yaitu tinggal naik angkot dari seberang sekolah persis, dua kali disambung ojek taraa sampe deh di rumah. Jadi lah gue anak angkot dari SMP sampe SMA (secara SMA gue didepan SMP gue persis). Lewat angkot ini lah gue banyak pengalaman, mulai dari yang serem, lucu, traumatis, dan yang lain-lain. Rute angkot gue ini menyusuri Kalimalang, jadi gue akrab banget sebenernya sama kawasan Kalimalang. Makanya sekarang pas Kalimalang lagi dirombak abis-abisan gue rada sedih gimana gitu haha a piece of my life will be changed, completely changed. Rute pulang gue kadang ganti, kalo lagi biasa-biasa aja ya angkot lanjut ojek, kalo lagi hemat angkot lanjut angkot lagi (jadi 3x angkot) pernah juga 4x angkot kalo males jalan jauh. Pernah juga naik bus AC63 lanjut angkot, tapi mahal dan luama. Pernah juga nebeng temen sedaerah (haaiii Dewi &Jene!) ahaha nebengnya gatau diri tapi hampir tiap hari, maafkan yah T.T 

Kayaknya sepanjang perjalanan gue commuting tiap hari, paling enak cuma pas gue kelas 3 SMA dimana bokap gue udah pensiun jadi gue bisa dijemput tiap hari (walaupun kemudian gue disuruh bawa mobilnya buat ngelancarin nyetir). Sebelum itu gue berkawan sama angkot, ojek, kadang bus, dan transjakarta. Jaman dulu belom sering ada berita serem kayak perkosaan di angkot gitu-gitu, jadi gue dulu lumayan selo naik angkot jam 9 sekalipun. Paling banter tuh cerita maling (dimana gue juga pernah dimalingin T.T)

Pas kuliah, semester awal gue masih optimis karena baru lancar nyetir jadi bawalah si Vanilla ngampus. Eh terus akibat gue kecapean rapat ampe malem trus pagi berangkat kuliah, drop lah gue kena combo DBD & typhus sekaligus. Itu pun gue sampe rada trauma nyetir karena pas sebelum completely drop gue nyetir balik dari Depok itu penuh perjuangan banget dengan kepala keliyengan dan badan gemeteran. Semester selanjutnya, karena gue ikut salah satu kepanitiaan heboh di kampus jadi lah gue unjuk rasa minta ngekos. Dikabulkan untungnya, dan menikmatilah gue kehidupan ngekos yang asik-asik anyep. Asik karena literally bisa bangun jam 8 (padahal kelas jam 8) dan tetep bisa masuk kelas. Asik bisa nginep nginep lucu di kosan temen. Asik banyak waktu bobok siang. Tapi anyepnya, harus rajin nyapu ngepel dan nguras kamar mandi kalo pengen hidup layak. Harus nenteng laundry ampe 4kg kalo pengen kuliah dengan komposisi baju yang baik dan benar. Harus tahan godaan jajan cilok, dimsum dan Owol kalo pengen akhir minggu ga makan nasi sama tahu doang di warteg. 

Setelah gue lelah dengan kehidupan nguras kamar mandi, gue pun memutuskan untuk commuting lagi, kali ini naik commuter line. Ini juga super enak sih, murah banget, kereta pun udah enak, trus gue dianter dan dijemput dari stasiun. Cuman negatifnya gak bisa balik terlalu malem-malem banget which is fine karena gue juga udah mulai menua gak kuat maen malem-malem #jompo

Nah sekarang di saat gue sudah memasuki usia kerja, kantor gue berlokasi lumayan jauh dari rumah, di kawasan ring 2 Senayan #ea. Dan kurang lebih sebulan awal itu gue struggling dengan transportasi umum, makanya gue terinspirasi untuk nulis entry satu ini.

Di beberapa bulan pertama kerja, gue mencoba naik transjakarta disambung angkot. Cukup lumayan, tapi gue harus bangun pagi karena nebeng bokap sampai halte BNN, trus gue harus naik angkot dan jalan ngelewatin pasar basah. Agak garing memang hari pertama gue kerja yang udah cakep (ga deng) trus gue ngelewatin deretan bak sampah, tukang sayur mayur, dan.... los daging dan ayam. Heee. Alhasil sampe kantor udah awut-awutan lagi.

Berhubung gue datengnya pagi pas pake rute transjakarta + angkot ini, gue pun memilih pulang agak sore. Nah, kala itu gue masih polos dan memilih naik transjakarta lagi. Bad choice. Slipi Petamburan - BNN Cawang.... 3,5 jam sendiri. A-LIG. Itu pun gue masih harus 1 jam lagi baru sampe rumah. Tevvas.

Kemudian gue mulailah mengeksplor kemungkinan lain. Naik kereta memang gue coret dari awal karena males mesti transit-transit. Cobalah gue naik transjakarta lagi tapi rutenya dari St. Palmerah - Tosari ICBC baru naik yang ke Bekasi Barat. Murah banget bok, cuma 3500 sampe Bekasi dan most likely bakal dapet duduk. Gue pun memilih pulang sore naik ini.

Tapi tentu ada tapinya...

Rute ini MAKAN WAKTU. Banget. Dari Palmerah ke Tosari paling cepet itu 30 menit, paling lama bisa 45 menit - 1 jam. Padahal gitu doang rutenya, buset dah. Itupun sampe Tosari, gue masih harus ngantri desek-desekan menunggu bus datang dan pas dateng harus Hunger Games dulu baru dapet duduk. Dan setelah duduk manis, barulah bus menempuh jalan pulang hampir 2,5 jam *disclaimer : Ini gue naik di rush hour memang, biasanya kedapetan bus transjakarta yang jam setengah 6/jam 6. Pegel banget bo. Mana kursinya not exactly empuk ya kan. Gue pernah terjebak selama LIMA JAM naik Transjakarta dari Tosari sampe Bekasi. Literally gue naik jam 5, pas turun di Bekasi udah setengah sepuluh. Itu segala model duduk udah gue cobain, hiburan mulai dari main hape sampe cekakakan sendiri ngeliatin pegangan tangan. Dari pake cardigan, cardigan dilipet, cardigan dipake lagi, copot lagi, masukin tas, keluarin lagi, dipake lagi, sampe dilipet lagi. Puyeng.

Gue masih belum menyerah mencari rute yang paling enak dan nyaman. Ini penting banget sih karena gue gampang banget moody sama kejadian di perjalanan, yang mana gue ogah dong ngantor dengan bete atau sampe rumah bete. Suatu hari di bulan Ramadhan, setelah bukber di kantor pusat, gue memutuskan ngegojek sampe Semanggi trus liat ntar naik apa. Kala itu gue menemukan lah feeder Transgalaxi yang pernah diceritain temen gue, dan naik lah. Penuh sih dan gue berdiri, tapi bok supirnya lincah bak ninja, kurang dari sejam kemudian gue udah mendarat di Bekasi. Luar biasa. Sejak saat itu gue terpesona #gakdeng kalo sebenernya perjalanan pergi dan pulang gue bisa kok gak menyiksa. Dan akhirnya disitulah hati gue bertambat. Duo maut Transgalaxi (or any other feeder to Bekasi Barat, really) plus Go-Jek dengan fitur andalan kesayanganku, Go-Pay jadilah kehidupan commuter gue extra nyaman dan cepat. Harganya memang lebih mahal tapi worthed dengan mood gue yang selalu oke, gue gak perlu bangun pagi buta, dan bisa istirahat pula di atas busnya.

Coba ya gue rangkum pilihan transportasi ke Bekasi (asumsi dari Jakarta Pusat/Jakarta Selatan) yang telah gue jajal :

TRANSJAKARTA
Pro : Murah, relatif nyaman, merasa bangga turut berkontribusi mengurangi kemacetan #serius
Cons : L A M A

BUS KOTA (MAYASARI BAKTI 05)
Pro : Relatif cepet, paling murah dibanding bus sejenis (feeder), lumayan banyak armadanya.
Cons : Kursi dan busnya kurang nyaman, plus hiburan di dalemnya suka bikin sakit kuping (baca: pengamen)

FEEDER : TRANS KEMANG
Pro : Nyaman, literally gue hampir selalu bobok kalo naik ini. Armadanya cukup banyak.
Cons : Harga lumayan mahal, aislenya agak sempit, agak lelet (soalnya busnya gede jd ngangon penumpang mulu) plus dia gak sampe Galaxi (yaeyalah)

FEEDER : TRANS SUMMARECON
Pro : Nyaman pewe banget, aislenya luas, AC dingin, playlistnya okeh, cepet karena abangnya kayaknya ga doyan ngetem. Sering kosong juga
Cons : Mahal (paling mahal dibanding feeder lain), ga nyampe Galaxi (YAEYALAH). Pilihan gue kalo lagi mau pulang cepet nyaman tanpa saingan.

FEEDER : TRANS GALAXI
Pro : Sampe Galaxi alias hanya 3 menit saja dari rumah w, armada pagi lumayan banyak. Aislenya ga gede tapi ga sesempit Transkemang. Harga paling murah dibanding Feeder lain. Lumayan cepet karena busnya kecil dan abang supirnya alig semua. Dia juga yang masih ada sampe malem.
Cons : Armada busnya BAPUK. Yang bagus sepanjang percobaan gue cuma 2 atau 3 sisanya baaapuk. Kursinya udah goyang goyang diganjel aneka macam, ada yang AC nya ga dingin, atau bocor. Ada yang pintunya ga rapet jadinya kalo ujan lo duduk deket pintu ya udah basah (gue pernah dan jadinya gue payungan dalam bus #truestory). Trus itu, abangnya gokil. Dari beberapa bulan terakhir udah 2 - 3 kali gue naik trus busnya kecelakaan mulai dari ngebaret mobil, mecahin kaca transjakarta, sampe yang beneran tabrakan ampe ringsek. Herannya semuanya selesai begitu aja, paling berhenti 10 menit trus dengan muka lempeng jalan lagi. Kenek dan supir lempeng, penumpang juga lempeng. I was like wut.... tapi lama-lama biasa, mungkin emang udah kebal karena keseringan (?)

Yaa pokoknya begitulah perjalanan gue mencari rute commuting paling enak. I finally found my perfect commuting route. It is tiring indeed having to commute back and forth every day but oh well we all got to strive a bit in life right? ;)

Converted

If you've known me for a long time, since I was young I always have the tendency to go "West", and by "West" I mean I tend to gravitate towards Western pop culture rather than Asian pop culture. To be more specific, I lean towards American and Hollywood pop culture rather than British pop culture for example. I've always been more into American TV series rather than anime, J-Dorama or K-Drama, American music over local and Japanese/Korean music. I like translated novels from American writers rather than our local writer. I don't really know why but I guess I've always had that tendency. 

I don't have prejudice against local or Asian pop culture, I think it's because I kinda "get trapped" in the cycle of liking American pop culture. Starting from liking the series, then I read the novels they based the series on. When I start to like the actress/actors, I'll listen to the their song (if they happen to be singer as well, like, uhm, I used to have Hannah Montana's song in my MP3 player), then I follow their life via internet or magazine. I remember there were times that I check PerezHilton.com and JustJared.com on daily basis to check on celebrity's latest gossip (I must've had a lot of free time back then, lol). I was obsessed with Meg Cabot's writings, starting from The Princess Diaries to other series. In 8th and 9th grade I started watching American TV series like The O.C and Gossip Girl ( Dira would remember this, because I kinda started watching them because of her :P ). Now when I think about it, those series are absolutely inappropriate for kids my age lol due to the adult content in them *ceritanya udah gede jadi sensitif sama konten yang tidak baik untuk anak-anak dibawah umur*

I think that's how it began. I never really thought that's a problem (well, now I don't think it's a problem or anything, but back then it was kinda a big deal) until when I started preparing to go on my exchange student program. I was ashamed that I'm more into American culture than my own culture. I don't speak any native language other than Bahasa Indonesia, my knowledge on Indonesian culture is very basic too. I told my host Mom about this, but then she reassured me that it's okay to like other culture, it's not like I betrayed my country or anything, which actually gave me a huge relief that it is okay.

So as I progressed to high school, I found out that Korean pop culture is actually getting really huge in Indonesia. I've never paid much attention to them though, back then and until quite recently ( one or two years ago) I always thought that all male Korean star are rather pretty than handsome, and I'm not attracted to "pretty boy". In addition, I have zero knowledge of the language so I'm not attracted at all to the whole Korean wave. I also have this kind of fear, seeing that so many of friends got sucked into the Korean wave (or Hallyu) and they all went all out, like, spending so much money watching concert, obsessively loving a certain drama, buying pre-order albums and merchandises, sleeping in the concert venue a day before. I'm scared that I'll turn "crazy" like them, so that just add to my list of "why I never even try to like Korean pop culture"

Then one day, still during high school, I kinda gave in and asked Dira if I could watch the Korean version of Meteor Garden (which is the Taiwanese version of Hana Yori Dango) titled Boys Over Flowers, simply because I already know the storyline. It's a long one, 24 episodes of 1 hour each, very cheesy story too - a rich, son of chaebol, pretty boy got tamed by a energetic and optimistic poor girl)...and I fell head over heels in love with the series. Darn it! It's just so good; it makes me laugh, makes me cry (never happens with Western drama) makes me feel. It was my ultimate guilty pleasure. My prejudice of all Korean boy being "just pretty boy" starting to change; but by just a tiny little bit. I refused to watch other series after this, because I'm scared that I'll be addicted to Korean Drama. 

In college, since I am a big fan of Lee Min Ho (the main lead in Boys Over Flowers, God look at his long legs *drools*) about a year and a half ago, I started looking into his other works such as Personal Taste, City Hunter, and The Heirs. And again, I fell in love. Not only for him, but for K-Drama as a whole.

ini lho si abang lagi ngopi

And from there, I started watching other KDrama, starting from the more popular one. It's Okay, That's Love hands down is one of the greatest I've watched so far. So good, so many feelings. Prepare a towel or tons of tissues if you're planning to watch this. Damn! Healer is a good one too, satisfying story line and casts. Marriage, Not Dating is such a cliche story, almost FTV-like kinda, but well executed and managed to dig deeper than just the gimmicky dynamics between the main lead. It's also really funny. Let's Eat! 1 and 2 amazed me. I mean, how, just how do you make food the center of a drama? But they did and they did it well, simple story with lots of great shoots of food. Just recently I started watching the Reply franchise, they are Reply 1997, Reply 1994, and Reply 1988. And I kid you not. One of the greatest, ever, drama I've ever ever watched. They are franchise but have different casts and stories for each series. These series are just amazing. I can go on and on about how great they are but you need to watch it to understand. If you're a sucker for a coming-of-age type of stories like I do, you need to watch them. I guarantee you'll laugh and cry and your faith in humanity will be restored.

there's TONS of great lines; very quotable!

I'm trying to make sense of what makes KDrama so good and so addictive, and it comes down to these :

1. Most of them (well at least the kind that I watch) are only 16 to 23 episodes long.
It's great because you get to move on after you watch one (or, heartbroken because it's ended) but the stories are complete. Unlike Western drama that keep running for more seasons in which the quality is not always up to the standard it used to be and then they canceled the show. What a bummer. No need to worry about that with KDrama, most of the time you are guaranteed a closure.

2. Well written (and well executed) storyline
Maybe because it has already been decided on the number of episodes. But most of the series I've watched have amazing storyline that it stunned me like how did humanity get to this point that we're able to produce such good show? I also love how they always pay attention to simple details that later will be revealed that it actually symbolizes something. KDrama makes such a good material for a discourse analysis. Like in Let's Eat 2, who would've thought that the Roomba we've seen over and over can be turned into something so symbolic and meaningful.

3. The music
Yassss the music. They know how to incorporate good music in the drama. Let me tell you, there's a lot of flashback scenes with mellow music in KDrama. Like in almost every single series I watch ed have that kind of scenes. Sounds...cheesy right? Trust me, cheesy will be the last thing you'll think of when you actually get to watch them in the series because you will be busy wiping your own tears. Even when you don't understand what the song is about (99% of the time I have no idea) you just get it. And when you understand what the song is about you'll cry harder.

4. The proximity
I'm not sure if it's true, but being Asian, I think we do have a lot in common with Koreans. In series that feature "normal" life (like Reply series) I find that a lot of things could be easily found here in our daily life. The dynamic relation between parents and sons/daughters, the friendship style, the daily struggles , are something that I think most people here have experienced as well.

5. The cast
Korean actors and actresses in general are always good looking. The fashion are not bad too! Also, I noticed that somehow they make the actors and actresses prettier by each episodes, that by the end of the finale you'll ask yourself why did it take you so long to realize how amazingly good looking they are. You're probably going to fall in love with them too.

Still not buying how great KDramas are?

Try to watch the latest' KDrama obsession : Descendants of the Sun. It's so good that the Chinese gov actually released a warning of its "dangers".

Well, I have to admit that I'm a convert  to Korean wave. I gave in and I have no regrets.

did I mention that they have such a great sense of humor?

Beauty Thoughts : Gizi Super Cream

Halo!

Today I'm going to talk about.... jeng jeng jeng

GIZI SUPER CREAM!

Does anybody know this brand? Gizi Super Cream apparently is an old favorite in Indonesia. I've only heard about this product quite recently though through Kak Vani Sagita 's blog (lookie here) but she wrote about the product in the jar packaging. I have been intrigued to try the product ever since, because she gave great review on it, but never really got to actually try. Besides back then it's quite hard for me to get my hand on the product. 

A couple months ago, I was reached by Female Daily and was offered to try their new products! There's one more product which is the Daily Natural Lightening Foam Cleanser, which I love, but I've used it up to the last bit, so it's not photogenic enough to be featured here :P

Gizi Daily Nutrition Cream SPF 18 - Gizi Daily Nutrition Cream

I got them all in the new tube packaging which is way more convenient in my opinion than the jar. They come in separate boxes, and the boxes are quite sturdy! The packaging is neat and clean that I think people dig lately, it gives the modern vibe. For the cream they're pretty much the same product except for the SPF in it.

Daily Nutrition Cream

Krim pelembab wajah dengan tekstur yang sangat lembut dan ringan yang terbuat dari 7 bahan Herbal Indonesia. Dengan teknologi nano, krim lebih cepat meresap ke dalam kulit sehingga lebih efektif dalam memberi nutrisi, membantu melembabkan lebih lama, menghaluskan, mencerahkan kulit dan melindungi kulit dari efek buruk sinar UV.

Daily Nutrition Cream SPF 18

Krim pelembab wajah yang dibuat dari 7 bahan herbal Indonesia yang disempurnakan dengan SPF 18 untuk memberikan perlindungan maksimal terhadap sinar matahari (UV).

The texture of these two are pretty similar, but I feel that the non SPF one is thinner and easier for the skin to absorb. They have quite a heavy scent to them, but I happen to find the scent really nice, it's quite sweet yet still fresh. I like using the non SPF one as alternative for my night cream, but make sure your face is ready for a cream product like this (meaning toned them properly) because I found that if I just slab it on my skin it's not absorbing fast enough. Once it's absorbed, my skin feels soft and leaves no greasy residue at all. In the morning, my skin feels supple and refreshed as if it just fed on a nutritional meal :D *pun intended*

Meanwhile, for the SPF one I don't use it as my day cream because I personally never use day cream; all I use daily are  light moisturizer and sun block. I also think that the SPF of 18 is not quite enough for daily use (I use SPF 50 for daily). But I use this when I'm at home where I don't get much exposure to the sun. I also like using it on my arms or anywhere in my body where I have scars or insect's bite! It really works; it soothes the skin and helps fading the mark like magic.

So all in all I think Gizi products are great and worth to try! And now they can be found like anywhere, Even there's a store 5 minutes away from my home that sells these. 

Find more about Gizi products here 

Bye for now! <3 p="">

Beauty Thoughts : Wet n Wild Fergie Centerstage to Reflect Shimmer Palette : Hollywood Boulevard

JLo!

ini lho Mbak JLo~ Highlighter on fleek~

So, here I am back with another make up review! This time I'm going to share my thoughts on Wet n Wild Fergie Centerstage to Reflect Shimmer Palette in the shade Hollywood Boulevard.

*gosh, what a mouthful of a name *wipes sweat**

The first time I found out about this highlighter was through Kathleen Lights 's youtube channel. She raved about the highlighter being so pretty yet so cheap since it's from our favorite affordable drugstore brand, Wet n Wild! And I was sold! So I ordered one and mine came around December last year. And it's true; this highlighter is da bomb!

I don't have many experience with highlighter; in fact most of my highlighter came as a part of a face palette I own. The highlight shade in Sleek Face Form - Light is great, creamy with a pretty sheen and the shimmer is even and pretty. But I let the palette go because the contour shade is way too red for me. The Champagne Pink highlighter in my Tarte Showstopper Clay Palette is a bit stiff and in my opinion, does not go well with other items in the palette because it has cool, almost icy undertone while the overall vibe of the palette itself is very warm. The highlighter in The Balm Auto Balm in California is nice and pretty but does not give a high impact, it is very natural though for daily use. I wouldn't call my Guerlain Météorites highlighter though because I use it as finishing powder. The one in my Australis Contour Kit is very cool and very white, so I avoid using it.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Wet n Wild Fergie Shimmer Palette's perfectly coordinated baked trio delivers high pigment in a wet or dry formula for a glowing, extra-reflective finish. Big girls don't shy away from a little sparkle!

Wet n Wild Fergie Shimmer Palette:

• Perfectly coordinated baked trio
• Delivers high pigment in a wet or dry formula
• For a glowing, extra-reflective finish

The product came in a large plastic packaging that is quite light. The size is humongous, it's almost as big as my whole palm. I think I'm set for life with this highlighter lol. The transparent case makes it easy to look for and I quite like having it displayed on my vanity, because it's really beautiful! The baked gold highlighter with swirls of pink and brown is very very pigmented. It's a bit stiff, not creamy or anything but the pigments are picking up extremely nicely. There are many fall outs on the palette, but nothing that a light swipe wouldn't fix.

the palette

 When swatched, it turned out to be a really nice golden highlight with neutral undertone; it's not a warm gold nor a cool gold, just a nice neutral gold that is very flattering on many skin tones. It's like champagne color but it has touch of brown in it. When you put it on the face though it will capture the light and it seems more golden. If you're feeling more pinky highlight you can try to dip only to the pink and the brown part and you'll get a soft pink highlight that is also very pretty.

the swatch

I usually apply this highlighter using my Real Technique's fan brush or setting brush, although I prefer using fan brush because it picks up just the right amount of product.

How about longevity?

sorry for the hostile expression

The longevity is awesome. In the above picture I have been wearing the highlighter for more than 9 hours and even when I got home about 3 hours later the highlight was still there. It's so good! But I should elaborate that I was wearing the highlighter on top of a full base makeup and I set it with my trustee MAC Fix+. 

You can find this palette in drugstore websites, I wonder though why they don't have it up the official Wet n Wild website. Is it LE? I don't know. I think this highlighter is definitely a great purchase and you won't regret having this (the amount of product you get is maaaad, for the price)

I'm giving this a solid rate of 4.85 out of 5.00.

Yay for quality, price, pigmentation, amount of product, amazing longevity

Nay for not very sturdy packaging, kicks out a lot of fall outs, only available online

I've also reviewed this on Female Daily Beauty Review Platform! Check em out here

C ya!

Beauty Thoughts : Missha M Magic Cushion x Wonder Woman Edition

Yellow!

As I am currently in-between jobs (baca: pengangguran friksional), I'm thinking of updating this blog more often with beauty reviews and other posts. I have some other posts coming so if anybody is reading, make sure you check the next posts! I would love to get feedback as well about my writings and my review should there be any critics or improvements you'd like to see.

Today's post is a review of the MISSHA M MAGIC CUSHION : Wonder Woman Edition in the shade #23. It's my first cushion product as you know that this type of product is all the hype now in Western cosmetics. As far as I know, Asian brands have had this for a while now while brands such as Lancome, Physician's Formula, Philosophy, and L'Oreal just started releasing their version of cushion product. Mostly are cushion foundation but I know that Philosophy have a cushion blush and there's also a cushion bronzer from L'Oreal. Korean brands like Missha, Tony Moly, A'pieu, and Beyond have collaborated with companies to release Limited Edition cushions that feature animation character like Mighty Atom, Alice in Wonderland, Doraemon, Brown, and of course,Wonder Woman.

Mine is in the shade #23

I bought this product through Pre-Order last year just before Black Friday. There are actually two version of this cushion. The other one is in blue packaging with the name Missha Magic Moisture Cushion, since it claims to be more moisturizing. When I bought it I wasn't aware of that though, I chose the Red one just because I thought it's cuter :P I don't regret it though, since I've heard that Korean brand cushions tend to dry down into dewy finish and can be a little sticky on the skin. So the Red one it is!

 The product came in a box with the same design. The cushion material itself is quite sturdy yet still lightweight enough to carry in your pouch. The size is quite bulky, almost 1/3 bigger than my MAC Studio Fix Powder Foundation. But I suspect that most cushion product is bulky like that since it has the cushion-sponge thing and then a lid to keep it from drying, then on top of that is the sponge applicator. I chose the shade #23 because it only has two shade selection(!) and it's the darkest one. Thankfully it suits my NC 25, neutral undertone skin pretty well. The foundation has this perfume-y foundation scent, but I don't mind actually.

The shade #23 is not too pink and it has a good amount of yellow in it. The texture of the product itself is quite runny when you push your finger into the cushion. I've heard that the best way to apply this product is with the sponge applicator provided and I agree. It gives a more even finish and it's convenient! I use it with tapping motion, pressing it into my skin instead of wiping it across my skin. Be careful not to put too much product on the sponge because you will end up with a semi- sticky feel afterwards, which happened to me in my first few times using this.

The coverage is sheer to medium, but I personally like it for daily use. The finish itself is dewy, but not overly dewy, just enough dewyness that make your skin looks alive. If you wear glasses like I do, I recommend setting the product with a little bit of powder in the area where your glasses touch your face because mine transferred to my glasses. I currently have dry skin and it does cling to your dry patch, so make sure you moisturize your face properly beforehand to get a flawless finish. 

can you see the dewyness? It's so hard to capture, my apology >.<

This cushion is my go-to make up for most mornings, because it's just so easy, fast, and convenient and I love the dewy finish it gives! It stays on the skin pretty well too, but if you have oily skin prepare to blot throughout the day. It certainly makes me curious to try other cushion product. It's also refillable!

So all in all, I'm giving this a rate of 4.5/5.00

Yay for the cute packaging, the finish, the price

Nay for the scent and the limited shade selection

Psst, check out my review as well on FemaleDaily Beauty Review Platform!

TTYL, beauties!

Saya (Insya Allah) Bukan Sarjana Abal-Abal

This particular post is made as a response to this article 

The article has some really good points, which I agree with. Some of which are :

a. TVOne should not frame the news in the demeaning way, making fun of the lady who was interviewed after the commencement ceremony. There are some components that the writer has pointed out, such as the clown-esque music as background, the reporter's tone while talking to the lady, and so on. It sure is not focusing on the real problem here : a shady foundation held a commencement ceremony with no proof that such learning activity actually happened. Bias in classes? Uhm, I'm not sure. I don't think the reporter was thinking about her being in lower SES class, I think the reporter just thought the confused lady's interview would be a hilarious highlight news and could possibly gone viral, which it did. 

b. Indonesia's higher education system is not fair, it sure is. I believe that the government should put all their best effort to make education affordable and accessible to everyone. Everyone should have equal opportunity to get the best education (whoa, socialist me, calm down) possible. But I realize making it happened is not as easy as turning the palm of your hand. Even the mighty United States of America struggles with this issue for ages.

So, for some points, I agree with the writer. What I don't agree to, and I actually feel offended with (yeah call me baper, I am baper like that) the title " Sarjana Abal-Abal? Memangnya Anda Bukan?"

I am not graduated (yet), but hopefully soon to be. And I will say out loud, HELL NO I'M NOT SARJANA ABAL-ABAL. And I know many people who certainly are not sarjana abal-abal. Truth be told? The so called sarjana abal-abal, which he inferred as those who doesn't really learn anything in college, those who ask their friends to tick their attendance in class, those who goes to college only to satisfy the parents and the family, and those who's after the degree rather than the knowledge in their respective field. Let me break this up for you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God, I remember writing this but I could not, for the life of me, remember the rest of the argument! I really need to finish what I write like, asap, before it's gone~ or I need to actually plan an outline to write so it doesn't end up like this. Garing abis, lagi hot-hotnya mau berargumen trus ga selesai postingnya :D

Anyway, it's February 11th meaning that it has been 5 days since my graduation ceremony. It also means that I have been a frictional unemployed (geez not sure about the words of choice). It has been dull and boring, but hey, I'll try to fill up these days with writing more here on my blog.

Back to topic. Sarjana Abal-Abal. I still reject that term and I will gladly say that I am not a sarjana abal-abal. (Note : the writer may define me as the proud member of "kelas menengah ngehe dengan mentalitas holier than thou" , well I'm fine with that). The reason?

Because I earn my Bachelor's degree. And I love every second of my struggle to get it.

(Well, I lie. There are some yucky moment of college too, but that only makes the fun part even more fun!).

I will start by saying that I am extremely blessed and super grateful that I got to learn the subjects of my choice, which is something that I love. I have been fascinated with media for as long as I can remember so communication studies was exactly what I wanted to learn in college in the first place. Alhamdulillah I got accepted to really great university with lots of amazing and super cool lecturers *drools* whom I can have interesting conversation with.

Never in my life I imagine that I would be able to analyze my favorite Netflix series for final assignment ( and my lecturer happens to like the series as well!). I wrote paper on Indonesia Lawak Club and D'Academy (yes that one in Indosiar). I even analyze the social media Path using Jacques Lacan's concept :'D. I learn so frickin much! My friends from Media Studies concentration are also really cool like we could talk about everything and discuss it from many different perspectives. We played dress-up (or dress down? not sure) for a class, we held a movie screening and discussion for final project, and many more memories from my college days. Sure, other parts of college are also fun. Joining various organization and events, but I actually really really like my learning process in Departemen Ilmu Komunikasi, FISIP UI.

I was not, in any way, a perfect student. I had my ups and downs. There were days when I started writing term paper two weeks early and spent time perfecting the whole assignment, but also there were days when I started writing 6 hours before deadline. I had my days when I came too early to class, but I also had been in a situation when I was almost one hour late to a class. There are lecturers I absolutely love and look up to, there are some that I really dislike and avoid *guess we all do that*

If a reporter asked me what's my favorite course, I really can't answer. Because I think every course is so different and so special *insert Barney's song* that I can't just pick a favorite. I think that's what happens when you really like the course you're studying.

My writing process for undergrad thesis was also a mess. I've spent days when I avoided the laptop so much I won't even turn it on, and there were times when I was up for more than 24 hours because my mind was on fire *also, dikejar deadline*  All those sleep-deprived moments, whining and curling into fetal position staring into blank space thinking about thesis, the thesis defense, the documents yang seabrek-abrek ribet benar, menatap nanar pada layar hp menunggu respon dosen-dosen...those were priceless. The day I finally got to wear my graduation gown and marched clumsily (because I was in kebaya and heels) to Balairung with my parents were worth all that.

All those struggles and then someone *kinda* accused you as a sarjana abal-abal? Hell no I'm not! I can very well see that some people who read this might think "yaelah kalo bukan ya ngapain sewot, kesindir yak?" Nggak, gue gak kesindir. I'm writing this to channel my inner baper self aja kok :)

Regards,
Nadia Shifa, S.Sos.

I *might* write again regarding to the "kerja nggak sesuai sama jurusan" comments. I might, I might. We'll see.

bonus pap wisuda

Take my hand...

Shall I stay

would it be a sin?

If I can't help falling in love with you

My Prized Possesion

Halo.

Beginilah, suntuk skripsian mari menulis hal lain yang tidak berbau skripsi.

Kali ini gue mau ngomongin one of my most prized possesion, my books.

I used to be an avid reader. Well, I think avid is an understatement. I love reading for as long as I can remember. Dari kecil, kesenangan gue adalah baca. Majalah, koran, komik, novel, pamflet, even neon signs toko-toko, you named it. Untungnya orang tua gue senang-senang aja mengakomodir hobi membaca gue. Randomly gue masih sangat ingat tiap kali ke mall gue harus wajib kudu ke toko buku and at least minta dibeliin satu buku. Begitupun kalo ke rumah sodara, pasti gue mencari bahan untuk dibaca. Reading was such a big part of my life.

(Sampe sini agak sedih karena mau gak mau harus pakai was di kalimat di atas)

Tiap kali ulang tahun, gue gak minta kado apa-apa. Gue hanya minta diajak ke toko buku dan dibolehin beli buku sepuas-puasnya :D Karena otak licik gue tau, kalo minta mentahnya bukunya pasti dapetnya terbatas muahahaha. Tiap tahun juga gue gak boleh absen pergi ke Pesta Buku yang di JCC/Istora itu, dan gue selalu ngabisin tabungan disitu. Iya lho, dulu gue nabung untuk beli buku. Salah satu ingatan termanis gue adalah pas SD, gue inget nabung untuk beli buku Lupus, sudah dua mingguan dan gue gak sabar pingin beli buku. Bokap gue pun ngajak gue ke Pasar Senen naik metromini untuk cari buku Lupus (karena Lupus pas itu emang udah gak masuk Gramedia). Dan yay terbelilah buku Lupus, sayangnya gue lupa yang mana muahahaha. Tapi masih inget banget pas gue baca di halaman sebelum bab I nya (yang si Hilmannya suka nulis satu-dua kalimat ituloh) itu tulisannya kurang lebih gini " Buat kamu yang udah rela nabung buat beli buku ini". Kyah! Bisa kebetulan gitu.

Anyway, talking about Lupus, ternyata itu seri seru juga buat di analisis. Separate post coming your way!

Pertemanan gue sama Dira juga awalnya berkembang gara-gara buku. Yes, karena jaman dulu gue kurang modal (sekarang juga h gak modal sih) jadi hobinya pinjem buku sama Dira yang sama-sama doyan baca. Pinjem-pinjeman buku ini berlangsung dari SD sampe SMA, walaupun pas SMA udah mulai berkurang intensitas pinjem-pinjeman buku dan berganti dengan pinjem-pinjeman film/series. Hahahaha

Liat-liat blog archives, ternyata gue sering juga nulis tentang buku di blog ini. Ada di sini, sini, sini, dan sini . 

Alasan kenapa gue tiba-tiba nulis tentang buku sebenernya bukan karena cuma gara-gara lagi suntuk skripsian. Tapi karena somehow tadi gue ended up buka hashtag #jualbuku di Instagram dan lihatlah gue orang-orang yang pada menjual bukunya. Dan gue jadi mikirin buku-buku gue di lemari, yang btw udah lama banget gak diupdate isinya semenjak gue mulai memilih untuk baca buku aslinya (non terjemahan) dalam bentuk ebook...which is, 4 tahun lalu dimana gue mulai nyaman baca ebook di iPod gue. Aneh ya baca di iPod? Tapi gue kok suka ya. Kalo pake tablet berat, gabisa sambil guling-guling. Kalo di komputer nyalainnya aja males. Kalo di HP, sayang boros batere.

Anyway, back to topic. Iya, gue jadi mikirin. Kok mereka pada rela ya jual-jualin buku. Me? Not a chance. 

a glimpse of my library

Gue sadar banget sih frekuensi baca buku gue udah turun jauh banget. Sampai pada point dimana gue sekarang gak yakin buku apa yang terakhir gue baca sampe selesai; rasanya sih bukunya Gillian Flynn ya. Ketertarikan gue sama buku juga udah jauh banget. Setelah buku, gue terobsesi sama film dan series. Dan sekarang, most of my time dihabiskan untuk bahas make up and beauty. Dan toko buku bukan lagi tempat yang wajib gue datangi.

Sedih. Iya, sedih, kenapa gue gak bisa mempertahankan antusiasme membaca gue kayak dulu, padahal gue ada di titik kehidupan dimana banyak baca buku bener-bener bisa takes you further in life. 

Tapi gue gak bisa bohong kalo buku-buku gue yang tersusun rapi di lemari buku depan kamar itu masih menempati posisi sebagai my most prized possesion. Gue gak keberatan kalo harus jual produk-produk makeup gue, tapi buku-buku gue gak akan pernah gue jual. They're my prized possesion.

I love my books. Whether they're rugged and written all over or pristine and still have sharp edges. Sayangnya gue telat sadar kalo buku tuh MAHAL dan harus disayang. can you believe it gue dulu doyan gambar-gambar dan coret-coret dan GUNTING-GUNTING cover buku Harry Potter gue. Buku 1-4 itu udah gembel banget semua, baru buku 5 (yang keluar pas SMP kayaknya, udah gedean dikit) dan seterusnya yang lumayan cantik. I love all my books. Dari teenlit klasik angkatan pertama ( Dealova, Me vs High Heels, Cewek Mall, etc), Lupus lama, Kariage Kun (!), my PRIZED POSSESION OF COMPLETE SET OF THE PRINCESS DIARIES SERIES ( which was on my wishlist 6 years ago), of course my Harry Potter, Twilight series (with boxes dan foto-foto, belinya set because no matter what people said Twilight is a very well written series (let's leave the whole feminist argument out of the frame for now)), dan The Godfather - Mario Puzo terbitan Gramedia yang entah dari kapan gue udah ngemis-ngemis di twitter Gramedia minta diterbitin ulang. Satu koleksi gue yang entah ada dimana sekarang, gue juga gak inget kenapa bisa hilang semua, adalah Kumpulan Cerpen Bobo. Sedihnyaaa. Padahal ceritanya bagus-bagus banget.

Bottom line is, I love my books. Even though I barely touch them anymore.

Maybe because they remind me of the person I used to be? I don't know. I'm not sure.

Gue rindu terhanyut dalam bacaan (yang ternyata ada penjelasan ilmiahnya ). Gue rindu masa-masa di mana gue bisa bener-bener gak ngapa-ngapain; bahkan ngelirik hp pun enggak, pas lagi baca buku yang seru. Gue kangen masa-masa dimana gue deg degan sama kelanjutan buku sampe balik halamannya aja takut (yes, I am cupu like dat). Gue kangen nangis sedih atau bahagia ngikutin tokoh dalam bukunya (waktu baca Ayat-Ayat Cinta gue beneran pengen ikut sujud syukur pas Fahrinya bebas) 

Kayaknya gue harus memacu diri untuk rajin baca lagi deh. Buku apapun, fiksi atau non fiksi (walaupun lately gue mulai berusaha untuk baca non fiksi). I will try to balance out my spending on make up with spending on books.

Wish me luck!

Want. Need.

When my favorite beauty guru Tati mentioned Marc Jacobs Eyeshadow Palette in one of her video (I think it was the Perfect Palette Tag video or something) I was intrigued. She loves the palette because it's very compact yet still have this elegant and effortless design. So Marc, right. Also the quality of the shadows is through the roof, woop.

So when I paid a visit to Sephora at Plaza Indonesia, I stood over at Marc Jacobs' collection shelf for sometimes, swatching a few things. And I. FELL. HEAD OVER HEELS. WITH. THIS. BEAUTY. RIGHT HERE.

Marc Jacobs Style Eye-Con No. 7 Plush Shadow in The Lolita 206
 

So so beautiful. The shadows are so smooth and buttery and creamy I don't know it's just that good. I have Lorac  that everybody seems to love, Lorac shadows are also buttery and creamy but not as smooth as this Marc Jacobs right here. Even when swatched it glides so effortlessly and sitting oh so prettily on the back of my hand. I want to own one someday. I want The Lolita and The Lover. Both are so beautiful.

Priced at $59, it is way up there for [only] seven shadows, but hey this is Marc Jacobs. 

Someday, baby, someday. I'll have you in my life.

Toodles and kisses,

Nadia

Current Beauty Wishlist

Sunday Riley Skin Care 

picture taken from here

I have my eyes set on the Ceramic Slip Cleanser and Good Genes. I'm not an oil person, so I'll pass on the oils. I heard so many great things of these products and so keen to try! I'm still saving up my money, though, considering they are pricey as hell :/

 Oscar Blandi Volumizing Dry Shampoo Spray

from here 

I have the flattest hair ever. It got no volume and very thin and flat. My oily scalp only makes things worse, and since I try not to shampoo my hair every day (because of something my momma said about too many chemicals and stuff), dry shampoo is my savior for the day after I washed my hair. Currently I'm using the drugstore dry shampoo, Batiste, and it works okay for me. This item is said to work wayyyy better product than Batiste, that is why I put it here in this list.

Sigma Beauty Eye Brushes

source

For some reasons I am not very interested in their face brushes, I don't know, I have Real Techniques and ELF Brushes to apply my make up at the moment and I am fairly satisfied with their performan-ce. Besides I am also keeping an eye at the Beauty Blender and I think I'll be all set once I get it in my hands. But for eye brushes, it's a whole different story. The only decent eye brushes I have are EcoTools Duo Eyes Enhancing Sets which are two brushes with four brush heads; yes they are dual ended brush. I finally realized that every eye brush have their own function and one just cannot justify using other brushes to fulfill one's job. It can be done, yes, but it won't be as good. And Sigma is raved by so many frickin people and I heard the quality is amazing. Zoeva is also said to have good brush but Sigma Beauty have the it-factor, I want these brushes SO BAD.

Guerlain Meteorites Perles Teint Rose

Claimed to give an illusion of glow from within, I am sold. I want want want this. I could never afford it probably but hey, that's why this post is titled Wishlist, LOL. I never really got attracted to these beautiful pearls before, not until I saw how beautiful a highlighter is when used properly in one's face. I love all the shine. But then it's not enough, I want glow. And then I research a lot and fell in love with Guerlain Meteorites's review. Besides...look at that packaging. So beautiful please come to mi vanity, won't ya?

Too Faced Cocoa Contour Face Contouring and Highlight

It smells like chocolate. The packaging is cute, the color selection is great, it comes with a cute fluffy brush, it has great reviews. What more could I ask?

I think it's all for now, I sure have many more but I'll break it down to couple posts!

Love,
Nadia

Thoughts on Nosy People and Religion

I can never understand why people are so nosy about others' religious activity and/or affiliation and/or perspective.

I am a student of this one lecturer who has been getting many controversies from what he said on the media, specifically from what he wrote on his page, like status update or just a few short captions on the news/article he shared on his page. I will not mention who he is; as there are haters probably obsessively googled his name every so often and I simply don't want them to stop by and read my thoughts here. My blog, my authority, so f*ck off.

I just paid a short visit to his page and saw many mean comments. Like, really mean, condescending comments. Calling him names. I should mention that most of his controversial statement is religion-related, which I could never understand why he kept doing it over and over, but hey, it's his right to say whatever he wants to, just as it is the haters' right to leave any comments on his page. But freedom of speech yadda yadda is not my point here. I am talking about the attitude.

Growing up with a very cool parents, I think I do quite well in the area. As in, knowing which attitude is bad and which is okay, or even nice to have. But nosy has never been on the side of "good attitude" why? Because it is common courtesy, it's basic logic in my opinion (psychology majors would you please explain?) that being nosy, especially for private matters, is not nice. It's basic etiquette that I believe, sourced from one's understanding of what ethics means. Conclusion : if you can't differ between good and bad attitude, you probably have a very low understanding of basic ethics.

Some people may argue that when it comes to religion, there are different sets of ethics applied. Some may even believe that it is their duty to "straighten" one's thoughts that is considered "deviant". But I really really don't think so. Religion, no matter what it is and what the details in the holy book said, is centered on one thing : kindness. Be kind. Be nice to people. Sure there are verses about beheading and killing so called "kafir" (which made me think of how much of a hypocryte many people are, one day they're saying that it's all in God's will, God knows best et cetera, but the next day decided for themselves that in fact, they know best, which reflected in what they said and claimed). But come on, really guys? You think religion should be all about the punishment from God? About avoding sins and preventing others from committing sins? Whatever happens to loving God for all His grace and gifts?  What the hell ever happens to CREATE PEACE BETWEEN HUMANKIND?

All you guys do are fighting. What? It's jihad? Fighting for the pride of Islam and standing for God's and the Prophets teachings? Since when doing so is translated into : Hey guys let's trash this one guy's facebook timeline, he said *wrong* things about Islam we should teach him to think straight and read more and do taubat!

What the hell ever happens to sharing beautiful article and news about how Almighty our God is. I really do love those articles. Makes me feel small and aware of my place in the universe. All I see today is so called writings about human committing sins and God punishes them in some way. Geez, I didn't know that religion is that scary. I guess I prefer to imagine Allah in all His asmaul husna, those beautiful traits of my God who is very nice and forgiving and Almighty and loving and yeah. Sometimes I do get jealous when my Christian friends share scripts and verses about love, "kasih". Why can't people on my timeline share those things too,about Allah's love? About making peace and be kind to one another? About how to live our life in peace by following His teachings and Prophets way? The beautiful stuff about Islam, please!

(Or maybe I just need a different set of people on my timeline)

Besides, religion is a very private things. I do not believe in intervening in other people's process of being religious. It's okay and it's nice to get advice on what to do to improve my acts, but other than that please just don't.

For a very (appearance - wise) not religious person I wrote a lot about religion here. I wonder why.

I have to admit,

You are not healthy for me.

Not because of you, you,

But because of my lack of logic

and the weakness of my chromosome

you are not healthy for me.

I shall go away, make distance, and start ignoring you

despite how much I enjoy talking to you and spend time with you,

you are not healthy for me.

and I own my fault, my mistake, my weakness,

May you be happy and joyful always.

My apologies,

I am such a judgmental bitch.

I judge, yes I do. A lot.

I am quick to put people aside.

And once you're on "that side", good bye. Chances are, I will never like you. Ever.

Yes, I am that sure.

Why?

Because I am such a judgemental selfish bitch.

Thoughts of Being Productive

What does 'a productive day' mean to you?

How do you define 'being productive' ?

What are the measures?

My definition on being productive changed a lot over the years. Back in the high school, the word being productive means absolutely nothing to me. Why? Because my days were full of school and friends and drama and so on and so on. I didn't care much about target. All I cared about back then was to have fun while still manage a good grade ( which was quite easy, don't ask why, it needs a long explanation about this country education system). The word 'seize the day!' or carpe diem only meant fancy words to put on your tshirt or something. 

It is different now. 

As I'm getting closer to the last semester in college, I realized that I needed work experience to 1.) Put on my resume 2.) Gain experience before work 3.)Networking, networking, and networking. So I applied for internship slot at this one company; which I have to say, is pretty cool. They do the work that I actually want to, and keen to do, after I graduate. So when I got the job, I was thrilled! There was a voice in the back of my head tho', saying this is my last long-break as college student; where I could've spent it traveling or whatever, but I chose to do internship instead. But then, whatever, The last two long-break I had, I spent most of the days at home, devouring series and movies. Did some volunteering, too, but just for one or two day. So I was glad that I wouldn't be doing that anymore, instead I could get productive at the office!

The work load is not that high; most of what I had to do at the office could be done in an hour or two, but I had a whole workday to finish that. I assisted the consultants sometimes with little things. On a slow day, I usually browse for my thesis material, or of course, mingle at FemaleDaily haha (btw, I'm a citizen now! Whoa!). I took notes when I notice anything that I learned that day; from new phrases in mining industry, universal phonetic code, until general reminder like pay attention to details. Then I go home taking the omprengan . 

On the first two weeks of internship I was so proud that I was so productive; I woke up early, went to the office, did my job, and I got home at the evening. Sleep, and do that all over again. I didn't have time to slack around, I was using the most of my time at home to get as much sleep as possible and to do what needs to be done (i.e : putting masks on, skincare routine, etc). I wanted to give myself a pat on my back,  you did good, Nad, you're being productive! Kudos!

But then on a slow day, third weeks into internship, I was sitting in the omprengan on my way home, minding my own business. Suddenly it hit me. I haven't done anything today. It was a slow day at work, no consultants asked for my assistance, so I just did my usual job until it's time to go home.

I did something, didn't I? Then why the heck I had that feeling that I haven't done anything that day?

I looked into my purse, and noticed my Gogirl! Agenda sitting there. I couldn't remember the last time I wrote something in there. And I think, that is exactly the problem.

I didn't learn anything that day.

Learning is a big part of being productive. For me. When you just get by each day by doing your job BUT you learned nothing, then the day is wasted. And I had been doing that for sometimes; I didn't learn anything. I just came to the office, turned on my PC, and did my job. And that's all. No mental notes even made. I wasn't being productive; yes, I did my job, but then again machines also got their job done. I am a human blessed with brains, why the heck I didn't utilize it properly? I'm not a machine. I need to use my brain to keep learning and learning. When I stopped learning, that is the moment I stopped being productive.

So yeah. Learn something everyday, good people. We're blessed with this amazing brain, so we might as well make the best out of it.

Anyhoo, happy Eid!